Dear Tired Mama: You Are Allowed to Rest

A personal story about grief, burnout, and how I found my way back to myself with more rest, more presence and a more mindful and heart led way of being.

There was a time in my life when rest felt impossible, even dangerous.

At 21, I became a widow. I had a two-year-old on my hip and a heart full of grief that I didn’t know how to carry. Life didn’t pause. It raced forward, and I had no choice but to run with it,

So I stayed busy. Constantly moving, helping, organising, doing. I told myself I had to be strong for my child, for our future, for everyone around me.

But the truth was, I was exhausted, emotionally and physically. I was stuck in a state of survival, constantly anxious, distracted, always in fight or flight

There was no space to feel, no time to breathe, no safety in slowing down

And then, in my mid-twenties, my body finally said, enough

I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue, but in many ways, it was just the loudest whisper of what I’d been ignoring for years

I was disconnected from myself. From my body, my emotions, my needs. I had abandoned rest and any kind of mindful self care because somewhere along the way, I learned that it wasn’t safe to slow down and that rest was weakness and a sign of failure

But here's the truth that changed everything for me

Rest is not a luxury. It’s a lifeline.

It took me time, lots of it, to feel safe enough to stop pushing. To start softening. To learn that rest is how we begin to heal and as I gave myself permission to slow down, even in small, messy ways, something beautiful began to happen

✨ My nervous system started to settle

✨ My breath deepened

✨ I began to feel more present with my child, less reactive, more connected

✨ I started to feel myself again, not the broken version, but the real one underneath it all.

If you’re a mama reading this who feels constantly on edge, constantly “on,” constantly holding everything together — I see you

And I want to whisper what I so desperately needed to hear back then:

You are allowed to rest.

You don’t have to earn it

You don’t have to explain it

You don’t have to wait until everything is done (because it never will be)

You deserve moments of softness, stillness, and support

You are not lazy

You are not failing

You are healing

And healing takes time

It takes tenderness

It takes a nervous system that feels safe enough to slow down

I share this story not because I have it all figured out, but because I want you to know that you’re not alone in this and that rest really is the key to unlocking a more resilient, mindful and healthful way of living and being

Let’s change the story together

Let’s teach our children, and remind ourselves, that rest is sacred. That our wellbeing matters

That being strong doesn’t mean never stopping

Being strong means knowing when to soften.

💚 With deep love,

Dani